I don't think brook has ever known best
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
