I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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