This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
