What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
