please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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