Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
