So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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