all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize