I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
