if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
