her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
