im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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