dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize