3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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