yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
