It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
