She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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