he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i dont even know how to be here
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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