I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
