I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
