Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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