You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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