To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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