So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize