my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish i was in the wii world.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
as a side note pls kill me
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
