My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
