This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
