Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
