I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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