There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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