4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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