If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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