I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
