wrigley field is MILF paradise
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
