Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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