I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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