Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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