i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize