dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Apparently you make a good broom.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
