Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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