The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
