May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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