this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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