so that wasnt chicken after all
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
splinters make it hard to masturbate
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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