Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
