so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
