Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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