While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
