I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
