Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
