there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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