if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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