My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
