2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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