Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
