You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
