WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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