her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize