We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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