Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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